A pleasant experience

For this month I had so much to share, it was a battle between the experiences this summer and a strangely pleasant experience I had yesterday while walking home. So I ended up choosing my rather pleasant experience.

Yesterday after an exhausting day at work, and by exhausting I mean running after 8 clients who have various developmental challenges. It was straining and draining. I decided that doesn’t matter how tired I am, it’s Friday and I need to be happy. So when I got out of the bus I had my headphones on and I spotted a pinecone. It was half broken and swooshed yet something about it intrigued me. I decided to play little soccer game with it and started tossing it forward and back with my foot while I walked. Initially it kept me entertained but there came a point where I wanted to abandon the pinecone and just walk straight home. But I took it as a challenge to take this piece of pine cone directly to my house. Doing so meant that my travel will take twice its time because it was really hard to maneuver such a small piece of object with my feet.  So I kicked and kicked, it got frustrating and tiring, people passing by stared at me strangely, a few laughed, and believe it or not a few even stopped pointed and laughed. At the stop light when I picked up the pine cone crossed the road and threw it on the side walk and once again started kicking, people started peeping out of their cars to stare at what was so important to me that I picked up and then laughed when they saw what it really was. Through this journey with my pine cone I realized that life is a resemblance of this one single experience of mine.  That piece of pine cone, no matter how small and worthless it looked it was still something I aspired for so it was my goal/dream. To others it was worthless, stupid and a sense of mockery. So when we walk the path of life with our own dreams with a vision of our finish line we will meet a lot of people in our lives that will laugh at us for having such a goal, might even intimidate us to stop our paths and change our ways but we must keep on moving. Because the way we saw our end goal, the way we envisioned our lives is not the way they see it. Our dreams are our own creation, and there will come a point where it will become close to impossible for you to continue any longer, you will start questioning your choices. In no ways is it bad to analyze and refurbish your dreams but never change its coarse because you think it’s taking too long or it’s something you cannot and should not aspire. Believe me a small goal like getting the pine cone home made me the happiest girl in the block. It was so uplifting because I finished what I had started.

From this extremely strange yet uplifting experience I have learned that life is about patience, it’s about believing in your dreams and it’s about moving forward no matter what the obstacle.

“Dream like you have forever to achieve it, strive for it like you have today”

Hope you enjoy it !!..If you like it that is :)

Skeptical Self :)

Our past

I didn't know that when I was committing to write a new blog every month I was going to have such a hard time trying to come up with a topic. Its not that I don't have things to talk about, believe me there is a LOT of things. But its difficult to put into a coherent thought format and make it sound interesting.
Since it is the last day of the month I have no choice but to squeeze in this piece of writing today.


“The past is never where you think you left it.” 

― Katherine Anne Porter

Learning history in school, for the most of us was a dreaded task. All it felt like was memorizing dates and names of people that we think made no significant impact to our lives. What history pretty much boils downs to in schools is, a point of view through which the teacher wants us to see our past. The way its presented to us makes it interesting or something completely worthless to learn about. In general though, however much all of us might want to deny the fact that knowing our past is useful, it can be determined that without knowing where we began , our end is uncertain & undetermined.
Our past battles define us, the scars and the bruises are a reminder of what we actually fought for and what was important for us to fight for. History doesn't only teach us about our fights but studying the characters of history teaches us about human behavioural patterns, our communicative methods, our thresholds for knowledge and webs of interactions and empathy for others. There is so much to learn from the people who have left us with a treasure of knowledge.  Knowledge isn't considered important when it teaches you how to do things, but also the mistakes that were made by our predecessor also teaches us how not to do things. History saves our future some trouble of re-discovering everything. That is why a person who learns from their mistakes is called smart, a person who repeats his own mistake a fool, BUT a person who learns from other's mistake WISE. As humans who have the organ called brain, must use it, take advantage of what our past and other's past have taught us and imply it.
By doing this, it does not mean that you stop using your own brain. it definitely does not mean that what did not work in the past will never work. It will boil down to looking at the probability of the effectiveness of the method and decipher your step. Use it as a guide, a navigational system, which can lead you to a path that is better, but does not stop you from discovering your own.
For example.
Gandhi taught us patience for our battles, but also taught us not to make emotional decisions.

This was rather a tedious post, scattered thoughts it may seem, but at the end of the day this post will become my past and I shall learn from it :P:P

" Our past battles scar us, and sometimes they may seem worthless, but there will come a point in life when you will look back and see that you walked on a morbid path yet you came out alive" Skeptical self

Hope you like it !!


Skeptical Self  :)

"When the mind is constantly trying to survive, the heart has no time to feel"

As I start my day off by travelling to the core, downtown of my city everyday all I do is mindlessly walk on the same routes to reach my workplace. Every day its the same routine at the same time. Looking at life at this moment  it  can be truly said that my life is controlled completely by the fate of time. But on one odd day even though I was walking on the same route at the same time, I looked up. I managed to glance at the path, my surrounding and the people. It was close to impossible to believe the amount of people I saw that were walking faced down, just rushing to get to their end spot where they will be for the rest of the day. I realized that we fail to notice the familiarity that surrounds us. I remember my parents telling me that they have met the best of people while their travel to work. My dad met his pen pal for years to come through his daily visits to work in the same route, same time. Its because back in his day there was no one and nothing stopping them from looking up and noticing the faces around them .Nowadays the sole ruling power is technology. Either people are texting, talking or watching stuff on their tablets. And the few off us are sleeping because we were too busy the night before using the same device. It seems like we fear to face people but ironically we are fantasizing and building tactics to fight the zombie apocalypse. In fact the apocalypse is already here and we clearly are failing to beat it.  More than anything its the time when we decide to look up and notice what's happening in our surroundings. The day we notice what's happening around us is the day we will decide to take actions to fix what's broken, to mend what is bend. At this moment us looking down is hindering our sight, our vision and we are all following each other's foot steps in crossing the road, not knowing if the leader is taking us to the right place or walking into a collision.

So for this very messy post of mine, I would like to propose that all of us even if not all the time, occasionally look up to see what needs to be seen. The day we interact with real human emotions, feel the compassion is the day we will thrive as humans. There is so much more to life than just mindlessly texting and playing games.

Don't just love life ...live the life that you will love


To a very confusing sets of thought,

Skeptical self

Hope you understood something i wrote above..hahaha :):)

As the famous saying "The only thing in life that is certain is its uncertainty" - 

As I graduated approximately a year ago I knew it was not going to be easy to deal with the change. But as I graduated and stood on that podium to accept my degree I had set goals in life, what I wanted to achieve and by what time I wanted to do it. I was also aware that goals are never achieved in the time frame you decide them to be achieved at, because no matter how much you deny it destiny will play a role in your life. As I mentioned before that I am at a stage of my life where a lot of major changes are due; personal, career, and physical. Each change is important in its own way and it’s the peak time where it needs to happen. Knowing these facts its stresses one, and so does it for me. I am stressed that when and how am I going to rise above in my career when the jobs are so scarce to find, the opportunity for me to meet someone interesting is close to eliminated, and my body from now on will only be weaker as the day passes. The last one I sound like I am in my mid 30’s but in this day and age of the kind of food and stress, the new mid 30’s are the mid 20’s.

While all these issues were going on in my mind, my bday was approaching and like every year this year it was no different. Every year I get extremely depressed around the week of my bday because I start reminiscing the past year and what I have achieved and as a new grad from university sitting at home from almost 9 months this year was at its lowest. I was going to turn 23 and I had achieved close to nothing or at least taken the step to achieve what I wanted to. But then one day while sitting on the bus it occurred to me that we all get so busy in life thinking about the end goals in life that we miss out all the little things that we always wanted to do. So I sought out for the little things that I always wanted to do, in fact always talk about yet never manage to achieve them.

This is when I wrote the 25 things in life that I really want to do before I turn 25, one of the things including writing a blog every month till I turn 25. So here is the first one. Every time I check off one of the things on the list I shall mention it at the end of the blog,

Coming back to the point I was trying to make was, fretting over the big things in life that take long times to achieve will only get you further away from your goals. Because the more stressing you do the less time you give yourself in strategy making for your goals. Also by achieving the little things you are giving yourself an ego boost from self achievement and fulfillment, and the bonus is you most likely are going to enjoy doing it. Another thing is sharing these goals with friends only makes them permanent, gives them validity. Since someone else knows what you want to achieve it drives you to achieve it faster to prove not only to yourself but to the one’s that know.

Goal achieved – Go clubbing once!! (it sounds like a silly one, but hey I went to it once and now I know why I shall never be excited to go again. But as I said friends help achieve it and this one goes out to my friends who took me out for clubbing ...and made sure I didn’t run out of the place ....hahaha).

“Goals are what you make of them, you can either have them or you can achieve them. There is no middle ground” – Jaini  

Emotions

An emotion is suggested and demolished in one glance by certain words. 


I usually write when i am in my philosophical mood but for once i am writing because i am extremely emotional lately. I believe that i am pretty strong minded person and will not tear up easily. But then i realized that the things that affect me is not personal things but rather things that affect my surroundings. I know that makes no sense and i am confusing you. What i mean is that i cry when someone says that i hurt their feelings, i cry when my country gets attacked by terrorist and i cry when an old people get mistreated by there children, i cry when young girls get sexually harassed and i cry when i see malnutrition kids in the world when the richie rich waste food everyday. I know it probably seems like i am trying to boast myself up but it truly gets to me. Come to think of it, its probably because these incidences shine upon the fact that I am so powerless. I am not able to help enough, I don't hold the power to make any significant changes in anyone's life. It reminds me daily that I am blessed in so many ways, yet I do not make the effort to ever get out and do something that will be helpful to end a lot of supposed "evil" out there. It could be many reasons for example I think of my well being before others, I feel like I wont be able to make any difference, or simply I am just a thinker and not someone who takes action. I don't know what the reason is but this feeling always recurs in my mind and depresses me. 

This is a poem that I wrote many years back and it might do justice to what I am trying to say at the moment a little better!!

What My Heart Desires 

What my heart desires,
is my own reflection
I have lost myself in the clutter of life
I exist but, I cease to live
What my heart desires 
is the art of music
the art of writing,
the art in me.
I have lost myself in the darkness of the night.
In the night that never ends,
in the starts that never shine,
in the moons never glows,
The night that never inspires.
I have lost my muse.
What my heart desires is the feeling of self-fulfillment
something is incomplete, 
I am incomplete. 
I am lost in the ocean of sadness,
the sadness of illiteracy,
the sadness of helplessness, 
the sadness that I am disabled more than any
I am incomplete,
What my heart desires is to be Complete!!!! 

Enjoy ...if u like it that is 

Skeptical self :)

Insipiration is us.

Today after attending a wonderfully organized TEDx event made me think about a lot of the issues and ideas that were brought forward by the speakers. They were really good prominent speakers and had to say things that could greatly impact our lives. Some of us might even say that they were inspirational speakers. Though I am not against that statement, i  would like to state otherwise. I think that they were all very influential speakers but i think inspiration comes from within. A lot of the speakers today said that we get inspired by people and inspired by things in our surrounding. According to me we get inspired by that one significant event in our lives to change the way we think. To aspire of what we believe in. All the speakers today attributed their success to their inspiration and the rest to their dedication but no one could really point out what their inspiration was. That is the case because what inspires US is US.  What influential speakers and prominent figures in our society do to us is make us think. They force us to believe that great things can be achieved. We all go out from influential speeches and tell ourselves we are going to do this from now on but none of us really follow through. The time that we follow through when we truly inspire ourselves from our conscious and critical think about the issue and then creatively act on it (as one of our speakers mentioned this scenarios today). When we inspire ourselves is when we rise in our self confidence and we begin to achieve great things and dedicate ourselves to great things. But some how in today's world it is really hard to inspire ourselves because we are constantly bombarded with ideas, images and a standard of how we should live our lives that we forget to look into the mirror and asks ourselves how we might want to live our lives. We forget to ask why we want to live our lives the way we do. So this was me thinking about all this during the conference was going on and while i was crossing the street i realized something
Our life is just like crossing a street (j-walking). "We have to estimate the distance between the nearest car to the farthest car, avoiding the nearest car and going ahead of the farthest car. The nearest car is our past that we try to avoid and crossing the street before farthest car gets to us is us seeing our future pass by as we want."

That was my little thought hope u enjoy it....if u like it that is

sincerely,

Skeptical Self

p.s. Thanks for a commendable effort to the TEDx Ryerson U team

Beginnings

To be born is to start the journey towards death.
Madeleine L’Engle 

Those who say, that starting a new beginning is for those who are brave, and those that only look at the end always fail!!. This philosophy maybe true and maybe false, but at the end of the day the person who looses the most is the person who always fears to begin. I have been wondering a lot now a days...sometimes about rubbish issues and sometimes about issues that gives me goosebumps. We all go through a lot in our lives. Certainly some people have more hardships than others but I think we all have our share ( i think). Anyways so I have been wanting to start everything over. Leave everything behind. By everything i mean everything. The country, the people, and the possessions. But then those are just physical objects in the universe. I may be able to the country but not its streets, I may be able to leave the people but not their memories and i may leave the possessions but not their need. So it all spirals down to the fact that the "thing" you want to leave behind the most is yourself and nothing else. Its seems practically impossible for obvious reasons. So i basically one can never escape the "soul" in themselves. Because there lies all the scares, the memories and the wisdom. Brings me back to saying that there are no true beginnings, that is just a metaphorical term used so one can please the self into thinking that our past will not influence our future. Truly what we mean by new beginnings is the process of substitution and then elimination. Simple basic math or perhaps the process of erosion and evolution basic biology or chromatography basic chemistry. Mathematically speaking one has to have more experiences in life in order to substitute the old ones thus eliminating them from our memories. One has to let the scares to slowly erode and then evolve on the newer experience and one has to let the heavier bogged down memories to lag behind as the more recent memories move to our frontal cortex. Moving away from boring scientific explanations i hope that i have not ruined anyone's beliefs about beginnings. I wish they existed. Well they do if you have amnesia :P...not that i m advocating that one should have amnesia to move forward in life.

Anyways i was filled up with emotions and thought i should write crap so i did.

Hope you enjoyed it :)...if u like it that is....

my innovative quote for the writing - " One's true liberation only comes with death ...everything in between is a mere illusion to achieve it  " ...wow super lame and sinical